Adventures of the Meta-Pen

Dear Cousin --

Thank the king again for me for this neato writing pen. I dont know what kind of magic it possesses but the idea that when I call for it, it opens my notebook and takes dictation is priceless! It even puts itself and the notebook back in my pack when I'm done!

Take for example right now. Its 4am, I'm in the deepest of underground tunnels, keeping watch over my sleeping/snoring party. I have a cookie in one hand and a skin of water in the other. Every word I say is dutifully plunked down on the page!

Blah.

Boop. boop. boop.

bibbilidibbilydoodlydiddlydoopahdahbahdahbahchachacha

hehe.

I think I'll just....

Hmm.. thats odd. I feel like I just missed a spellcraft check. And given that I don't even *have* any skill in spellcraft thats quite unu....

ARGGGH! Holy mackeral! What was that? The whole place just lit up like someone cast fireball and flame strike behind me! WTF?

I did! I did! I did see a fireball and flamestrike! Man am I lucky I wasnt standing over there. Woah, Ariana has major bedhead.

Ack! Bad guys! Thats where those stinky fireballs came from! ERf.. incoming crossbow bolts!

*dodge*.. *parry*... *dodge*... *reflex save*... phew.

Ugh - more light! Oh. that was brother alfuses super light spell. Man that thing gives me the willies. Its times like these I feel very chaotic neutral even though its expressly forbidden in this campaign.

Hey.. neato. One of the bad guys dropped his weapon. He musta been stunned by brother alfoosses big light spell thingie.

Here dude... have some daggers. Gawd I love this quiver.. just think of what I want and it hands me the right weapon. Ooops. The bad guy fell down. My bad.

Ow! Who keeps stabbing me! Oof. Ack! I'm unconcious. Luckily my overtly stout gnomish constitution allows me to keep writing. I feel like I'm 2 rounds from death unless I use some sort of actiony point to stabilize. Ok. check. got it. stabilized.

Need some healing over here! Oh.. yah. forgot.. that didnt work.. I'm unconcious.

Uhoh. Here comes the evil cleric type. Looks like she's going to cast some sort of terribly evil damaging spell. Huh.. almost seems like she's aiming for me. WTF? Deathsphincter is like right next to me with bigtime full health and I'm like an unconcious gnome. Man, next battle we should just cast feeblemind on these idiots.. drop their INT by 1d4 and they'll die instantly.

Hmm.. looks like she healed herself instead. Thats cool.

Now whats this guy doing. He's like standing in front of us as if a cone of something was about to shoot out of his fingers but all he's doing is trying to speak to us in sign language.

Dude. A) I'm unconcious. B) I don't even SPEAK ..er.. read sign lang...