I knew it... !!

Dear King -

Special Agent Ignitz reporting in.

Necklace of Glitter: 34.9886% (amortized) located

So I led my merry band once again into the deep, deep, dark, dark, deep, dark banewarrens. From the very beginning I have been spicious of that Bemmert guy. And especially spicious of his supposedly goody-two-shoes dad who had the key we needed, decided to "hold on to it cuz it made a nice accent in my den", and then lost it in some apparent struggle.

In sorta condensed form (to get to the good parts where I am, ya know, the HE-roe) - we lost our bard. One second she's there, next second - *poof* - she's gone. DID I MENTION I CANNOT POOF AND EVERYONE ELSE CAN POOF AND I CAN'T AND I REALLY WANT TO AND I WANT TO REQUEST SOME POOFING GEAR PREFERABLY SOMETHING IN A HAT OR STYLISH POOFING EARRING OR SOMETHING?

Only difference on this poof is I think she didn't want to poof. And some durn Dwarf riding a spider (no I am not kidding. No this is not like my report of the half-orc riding down the middle of town on a purple worm - that was a mistake) Poofs in (yeah, yet ANOTHER poofer that isn't me), grabs our bard - poofs her (note: more poofing) and then poofs away himself (yet more poofing that is non-gnome related).

So things we start looking for her to no avail. We head back to town for help and more soda crackers and we meet this Wizard woman we've been chatting up. She's hanging out with this guy who now claims to be Aeriana our female bard!! Yes - I *know* I said me and this hot little musical philly had a thing for awhile - but I would like to report that (given she is now a MAN) - I might have grossly exaggerated those incidences. Thinking back I don't think we actually dated at all. In fact I hardly noticed her. Please don't tell my mom.

So, with some further investigative work we find out that she's likely being held in Bemmert's Dad's old church. Well.. howdy howdy hello. Imagine that.

So we head off there and I sneak in. Except for a 9ton lizard, everything seemed perfectly ordinary. Oh - and the poofing (yeah. poofing) dwarf we saw earlier was there. I guided the party
in and we dispatched the lizard thusly.

Apparently our wise and benevolent casters felt the battle would be too easy to do the normal way so they figured they'd cast silence on themselves beforehand so that we couldnt use any spells. Of course, the were sure to not include the lizard in the silence so that it could scream bloody murder and alert the whole damn place. (these non-gnomes are seriously weird).

We cleaned house and went to the top floor. There we found (surprise, surprise) Bemmert's Dad. He happily attacked us (yep, he's evil - imagine that) and I proceeded to sheath my dagger into his back. Once he dropped we found he had a dagger that talked! And it likes me! Man I can't imagine the fun at parties I could have with this thing.

So the dagger wants us (yeah, its a bit whiny) to go to some other plane of mud to go get some parts to a staff. Apparently if we put the staff back together along with the hilt of the dagger it summons a bile demon to systematically dismember and eat us. I'm against this plan.

I'm not sure what happens next but if it involves the necklace of glitter or gnomish sized loot (har har) - I'm in.

Ignitz out
Say hi to Mrs. King.