Oh, Lonely Cleric

[A letter, written sloppy, to Bemmut]

Dearest Bemmut,

I am updating my sh*tlist.

Let me begin by saying your former companions are mostly a good bunch. Aeriana is nothing if not polite, and seems to hold her own, and often the rest of us, in battle. Gods bless that girl. She just makes me feel like we know what were doing, and that is a miracle even Silverbeard couldn't impart upon this bunch.

And, for the life of me, rude as he can be, Ig's still just the cutest thing ever. Flying around, poking things in the back, throwing his magic dagger. Okay, I acknowledge I'm a huge sap, but it makes me miss the days when Tanny would bounce around the house, kicking up a storm until father would finally break out laughing, grabbing her off the ground (or if he was feeling spunky, casting Hold Person and tickling her).

Lucious. I can't fault his sense of self preservation. I'd never expect to see it from one of the Church. Remember that time when I was gambling with one of the Emperor's guards, and you saw him cheat? Oh man, I swear, I wasn't about to talk back to him about it, but you've just got to call him out, in front of fifty of the Emperor's men, and I'm sitting there wishing I was just invisible. I bet Lucious would have done it right, though. Wait until the tables are in your favor before you start knocking heads. He's got a touch of sense in that noggin of his. You should learn from him.

This Deathspank feller is a bit odd. Half the time he's got more guts than anyone I've ever fought besides... and the other half he's as timid as a mouse. Still, he seems to hold up well in a fight, and gods that man can deal out pain. I am jealous. I must memorize more spells. Actually, I was watching Aeriana, and learned this cool trick. Apparently, you can actually use magic to speed up spells themselves, calling forth the power faster than your enemy can blink. I mean, the next time I'm feeling righteous, I can be righteous, do that become huge thing and give 'em a good scare, and rain pain, all in just seconds. I'm in love!!

Poor Damien almost died again. I blame myself: I'm not paying enough attention to him, or the dangers he's facing. You said he's not in his right mind, and that may be true, but he's still got a huge amount of raw power at his disposal, and it would be a shame if I failed him.

Ah, but I digress. Yes.

Avach. You've said it, and now I'll say it: this man is trouble. He's arrogant, overconfident, and impossible to predict. Allow me to recount his antics in the Warrens today: Lucious is fighting a dangerous slaad, and it conjures a friend. Avach procedes to get the living death beat out of him. Twice. Then, when I take down the blue bugger, he has the gall to claim it was his arrow. His _arrow_? This is the same man who flung _magic missiles_ in the Quaan? Why does he even _own_ a bow? Sometimes he seems more hardy than our barbarian, and other times I think he's more frail than poor Damien. Then, if that weren't enough, he's got the gall to sit the next fight out, like a sponge. I mean, it's one thing to let me carry the battle, as Lucious and Deathspank did; they still risked their lives to bring the desacrated beast to its end, with me holding the line. But too-precious Avach hangs back, trimming his nails. See if I offer him crafting services again.

I don't know why Avach's with us, but I mean to find out, one way or another. Or, at least, I'll drag an apology out of him. Say, weren't you going to do some research on him? Let me know if you find out anything, or if you feel like giving me some extra gold for frickin' hazard pay.

Eternally yours, or something,
Searc the Red